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The person who finds the suicide note in my bag or pencil box or whatever, help me tell everyone I love them and I'm sorry. Seriously. I'm having my PMR next year and my school band's activities are making my grades die. Big time. There's this concert competition next year and I'm gonna NOT be in class for the whole year. God, how selfish can our school band get?! I mean, it"s a SCHOOL BAND for Christ's sake!! It's not like we're representing Asia or something.. What am I gonna do? I hope our coach is not reading this.. Or anyone else from my school band or whatever.. My mother is always telling me to be smart and make the right decisions in whatever I do. So I guess I've gotta do the right thing. I kill myself first before anyone else can get me. Alternatively, I could walk right up to the coach, look him in the eye, tell him I'm not taking part in this stupid concert, he'll kill me, no. That's wrong. Wow. How can one stupid 'whatever' attitude 20 months ago lead me to this today?! Maybe I should just quit the school band. This is not worth it. This isn't what I want to do with my teen years. I didn't want this. I never wanted this to happen. Nobody does. I guess the love I once had for the school band is officially dead.

*This is something I wrote last year. Silly, huh?