Mixed Emotions?!?!

Hmm.. Yeah sure I'm soooooooo happy that the PMR is FINALLY over, but its been a week now and my enthusiasam has faded a bit.. I mean, I was screaming and jumping and laughing on the day it ende but right now.. I'm feeling a bit lost.. This is a personal post.. hope no one from school reads this. Well, there's this guy.. this wonderful guy.. but he's left. Not oh-no-he's-dead left, just.. out of school. Staying home to study for the SPM. When he told me that I was heartbroken! I had such feelings for him!! Its wrenched away.. and all I wanna do is just curl up and die.. maybe then the sadness and pain will go away. It was last Friday. His last day. I was hoping that day would never come. But it did, and now its passed. Today marks a new era. The no-xxx era. I was praying and hoping this day wouldn't come, either. Now i feel its totally otiose to go to school, he's not even there anymore. There's not gonna be any rush for me cuz I won't even be seeing him.. I wish I could turn back time, 7 months before. If anyone has ever had any ideas or ways to do that, i'll be willing to be accused of plagiarizing them, just so I can go back to the start where it was all daisies and roses.. My friends say I think and talk about him way too much.. Well, guess what? Good thing you guys can't hear my thoughts cuz.. well, then you'd know how I fell. I'm slipping into total emo mode now.. Why did you have to leave so soon? Is this why they always teach us how to wave bye-bye when we're babies? Cuz deep down, adults know that we'll be saying goodbye to people for the rest of our lives?